


Pst... I have a crush

by eyefornana



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Enemies to Lovers, Established Relationship, Heartbreak, Huang Ren Jun is Whipped, Lee Jeno is Whipped, Lord Byron - Freeform, Love Poems, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Secret Admirer, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:47:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27065113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eyefornana/pseuds/eyefornana
Summary: Renjun likes plan. So when he finds himself falling in love with the school golden boy Lee Jeno, he plans to become Jeno's boyfriend in no time. After all, he no longer wanted to be a secret admirer.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Jeno, Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	Pst... I have a crush

There is no such thing as coincidence in this world.

Huang Renjun believed that everything that happened was part of a big system that could determine his breakfast menu that day to the number of times he would sneeze in stuffy biology class.

As he knows that his belief in aliens is due to none other than his father's upbringing and the science magazines his mother gave him, everything he accepts and does will provide clues to his future life. Therefore, Renjun always prepared himself. Starting from doing homework, to planning for his future after graduating from high school next year.

So far, Renjun is quite satisfied with the plan that he will explore geography at one of the top university in the country. He managed to persuade his parents to help him find a place to live because he didn't want to share a room with other people in the student dormitory. Renjun would learn to his fullest, ignoring things that would obviously not help him earn awards in his field of science. He will occasionally come to a party on the weekends, drink enough so he can return to studying with focus and avoid problems.

But no matter how much Renjun had long and short-term plans, no one prepared him on a sweltering afternoon in Literature class, when he was assigned a group with the one and only Lee Jeno.

Renjun unconsciously held his breath as Lee Jeno himself stood up from his chair in the corner of the room and walked over to him.

"Hi," said Jeno, sitting in the front seat of Renjun which was empty because all the students had joined their partners.

"Hi." Renjun knew his mind was blank because this was the first time he had come face to face with Lee Jeno this close, but he knew himself better than just staring at Lee Jeno's face roundly without doing anything. At least, his hearing is still functioning properly even though 50 percent of his ear capacity is consumed by his own heartbeat.

Jeno smiled at him. No, it's not his beautiful smile that makes Jeno win the title as the owner of the best smile in their school, but a polite smile, so simple with closed lips and eyes that still look at Renjun sparklingly. He seemed thoughtful before carefully saying, “so, you are my partner, Renjun. I hope we could work together."

"Yeah." Renjun said, almost like a sigh. He forced his eyes to blink because he didn't want to make Jeno uncomfortable. "So," he cleared his throat before looking at his book.

"How do you like to do this?"

This time Jeno laughed softly. Renjun froze in place when he realized Jeno's laughter was so close that his brain stopped working. He wanted to hear the laughter again. Longer.

“Well, I'm pretty sure we should meet outside the school since its 10 pages long of essay. We should know each other more to comprehend our mind into the same conclusion, right?"

Renjun nodded, staring at the collection of Lord Byron's poems that Jeno was holding and became their task material at that time. Renjun wondered how Jeno had the book even before the assignment was given, but he held back. He know very well that Jeno is not just a jocks that has a row of fans and whatever he does become a hot topic among all students, but he is also a model student who achieves high marks in the arts and he also writes poetry.

Its natural for him to reads a collection of poetry outside of school assignments. And honestly, that's what makes him so exceptional.

But at this time, Renjun's mind was focused on Jeno's previous words. " _We should know each other more"_ , _oh fuck_. Of course Huang Renjun wanted to know more about Lee Jeno.

He admires and likes Jeno for the past year not without reason.

"Its easier if I have your number," Jeno took out his cellphone and handed it to Renjun.

Renjun rubbed his sweaty hands across his uniform before carefully accepting Jeno's phone. People will say Renjun is overreacting because after all, it's just Jeno's cellphone. But Renjun has another opinion. Cellphones are one of the most personal items. Some people even treat them like underwear. It keeps many secrets and is protected by privacy. Renjun wasn't sure what kind of person Jeno was, but he tried to uphold his principles.

He entered a line of numbers on Jeno's cellphone, then he returned the cellphone inadvertently staring at Jeno who seemed to be observing all of his actions with a little amazement.

Jeno received his cellphone and sent a message to Renjun to let him know its his number.

"Are you free today after school?" asked Jeno while Renjun was still looking down at his book, as if the questions listed would change from time to time.

"Y-yes, of course. Are you? I thought you had practice every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday until evening." Renjun stared at Jeno, trying to hold back the surge of excitement in him at finding Jeno asking him to hang out. But when he saw Jeno's eyebrows raised slightly, he hurriedly closed his mouth.

 _Oh, no you stupid_ , he cursed himself. Jeno certainly thinks of him as a creep because he knows very well about Jeno's basketball practice schedule. Renjun felt his face heating up and he was ready to make any statement to save them from an awkward moment, but Jeno quickly made his voice.

"Yeah. But I could make time for you. I know you're pretty busy too, Renjun."

Damn it, this time Renjun's face was as red as boiled shrimp to his ears.

"Y-you will do that?" his voice sounded incredulous.

Jeno nodded reassuringly. “Its not basketball season anyway. So I could skip some practice with strong and believable reason. Not to mention that Mr. Nakamoto will excuse me since I'm going out with you. I mean, you are a responsible person and an honor student."

Renjun did not believe that he could not only be in the same group with Jeno, but also had to listen to Jeno praising him with his _oh_ beautiful voice and looked so concerned about him. Renjun had to refrain from cheering this time as he felt he had embarrassed himself enough.

"So... lets meet up after school today?"

"Sure. I will wait for you in the parking area and then we can go by my car. Is that alright?"

Renjun nodded, his face still a little red and he knew Jeno realized this. “A-alright. That's great, actually."

Jeno smiled, clearly showing his dazzling eye-smile and so far made Renjun just content to stare at him from a distance.

As soon as the bell rang, Jeno rose from his place, patted Renjun lightly on the shoulder for a moment (not the usual 'bro' touch between friends, Renjun was sure) before leaving.

"Oh my God, Huang Renjun!" before Renjun had time to enjoy their moment of interaction, Lee Donghyuck had already embraced and squeezed his shoulder. “You partnered up with your crush! Congratulation!” Donghyuck whispered happily.

"Oh, shut up, Hyuck! He will hear us!" Renjun whispered worriedly.

But Donghyuck didn't care. "Now, tell me what he said."

“You wouldn't believe me,” Renjun smiled, full of secrets.

-

There are dozens of news and gossip about Lee Jeno in their high school, and half of them is unbelievable.

As soon as he entered high school, Lee Jeno's name immediately shone brightly like an east star in the morning because he was the ace of the basketball team in his junior high school and Mr. Nakamoto didn't want to waste an opportunity to recruit him. Jeno was immediately recruited into the team so while all the first year kids were still busy adjusting and making friends, Jeno was already sitting with the seniors from various sports teams in the cafetaria. He blended in perfectly, becoming so familiar with almost all the seniors on all the sports teams that his name took off immediately.

Of course seniors have their own reasons for hanging out with first year kids like Jeno, among others, he has a good personality--although a little shy--, trustworthy, and has great respect for his seniors. He also has a very handsome face, making not only half the girls in their school crazy, but also half the boys hope to be close to him.

In a short time, Lee Jeno became the target of love confessions from almost all corners of the school.

Jeno who really understands the excitement it causes always tries to defend his principles and personality. He thought that saying openly that he liked art and poetry would make people uninterested in him and his life, but it seemed they were getting more crazy.

“What the hell? A jocks AND a romantic? Well, I'm sold!" voice from a a cheerleader could be heard.

“He uploaded a picture of book by some indie writer and I bought that right away. He is sooo sweet! That's why I will confessed to him by writing that kind of poems," said a member of the theater club.

“Jeno is not an average person. He could conquer the field and the paper. What an unique and amazing quality! Mr. Kim that teach Lit class even cried when he read Jeno's poetry."

Now Jeno has a stack of love letters containing poetry, both adaptations of famous poems he likes, to his own works. But as if not moved, Jeno never replied to a single letter. He gently rejected everyone that expressed their feelings for him directly.

Even slightly cruelly rejected Kim Jungwoo, the senior from the choir team who had a mix of voice and face like an angel with perfect body proportions. When Jungwoo clearly showed interest in Jeno, almost everyone bet Jeno would melt because there could be no one more than Kim Jungwoo. As if to seal this opinion, Jungwoo even expressed his feelings by bringing in a food truck on Jeno's match day that gives free coffee and fries to everyone who supports Jeno.

He expressed his feelings as soon as Jeno came out of the indoor gym, complete with a microphone and a box of expensive chocolates from Switzerland. However, Lee Jeno with his cute smile, took the microphone away from Jungwoo and said something in a low tone. Jungwoo looked surprised, but he quickly pulled himself together. He smiled soothingly and hugged Jeno.

Everyone who witnessed that thought Jeno said yes. But they gasped when Jeno hugged Jungwoo back for a moment to then let him go and turned away without turning towards Jungwoo, who smiled bitterly and seemed to take a deep breath.

No one knew their conversation at that time, but everyone knew Jeno said no to the kind and handsome senior.

This seems to be turning around because Jungwoo is a popular student and has his own fans. In an instant, the issue arose about Jeno and his neverending rejection.

“You know, I heard he is dating one of his friends sister secretly. They don't want the brother to know that he's dating Jeno so they never come out publicly." Starting from the most harmless issues: a little innocent and quite funny.

“That's nonsense! Jeno must be dating one of his teammate. We never noticed it because they covered it up by being so close to each other."

“Such a pity. None of them are handsome as Jungwoo-sunbae. But I can picture him and Mark Lee together. They are so cute!”

"Mr. Kim loves him. I bet they talked more often than we thought."

“No! I got an info about him shopping with a beautiful lady in a luxurious mall. The lady's husband is often going to work outside the country." Until the slightly absurd and dangerous.

All of these are well known to Renjun, especially because of the input given happily by his friend, Lee Donghyuck, who always seems to have a way of gathering information from all corners of the school.

“You think that's true? The gossips about him dating an older woman?" asked Donghyuck while stirring his pasta.

Renjun snorted, disgusted by the cafeteria noodles that were a little too salty than he liked, and he was embarrassed to hear unreasonable rumors about Lee Jeno.

"They don't know what they're talking about," Renjun muttered.

"And you know that because?" Donghyuck demanded. He had heard everything that happened between Jeno and Renjun's “date” once the “date” ended. Renjun kindly called him not too calmly, squealing and screaming in Donghyuck's ear to tell him how gentle, sweet, and kind Lee Jeno was to him.

“No offense, you guys just hang out for a day. Still so much to know," Donghyuck continued.

“That's why I don't listen to groundless rumor about him. And I'm about to know him more. So yeah, no offense, Hyuck, but I'll prove it myself."

"Said the one who actually likes a dozens of guys simultaneously," snorted Donghyuck.

“Its not my fault that I'm being surrounded by cool and handsome men! But that was the old me. Right now is the new me."

"Which is?"

"I'm sure I will fall in love with Lee Jeno."

Donghyuck stifled a laugh. “Right. Like half population of our school. "

"But I'm the one who will be his boyfriend."

This time Donghyuck raised an eyebrow, looking interested in his best friend's honesty. He had known Renjun since they were children and he knew very well that Renjun liked many men at the same time because it was an interesting distraction for him.

Apart from Jeno, Renjun also paid attention quite often to Liu Yangyang from Biology class, Wong Yukhei from the volleyball team, to Dong Sicheng, the student council president. Everything is just a momentary interest considering that people are very interesting and charming. Donghyuck didn't blame Renjun, instead he hoped Renjun would keep it up because that's how Renjun took a break from his entire planned life.

Renjun's new obsession with Jeno arguably made Donghyuck wary.

"You don't even know if he is single." He tried to argue.

“He asked me on a date and we did go on a date. Of course he is single. Duh?"

"No. That was a part of your task, to know each other better so you could write down your paper easily. He said that by himself and all of the people in our class did that with their partner."

Renjun pursed his lips for a moment, displeased with Donghyuck who was clearly disturbing his day.

“But he is so nice and sweet to me and he never got close with anyone else besides the jocks. Bet he will take me on a another date this weekend. The official one!”

"Don't, Jun." Donghyuck stared at Renjun fixedly without even a slight joke in his voice.

"What, Hyuck?" Renjun replied, putting down his fork and looking at Donghyuck seriously.

“Don't make bet to this kind of thing,” Donghyuck tried to refocus on eating his pasta. He did not deny that Renjun's gaze was quite intimidating despite his petite figure.

"Just to show you how serious I am," Renjun realized that he made the atmosphere around them, which was usually cheerful, a little gloomy. He returned to continue eating the noodles.

“I know you are, Jun. Sorry. You don't need to make a bet or anything. Just… I hope you don't get hurt. Even if its all a groundless rumor, you still to be careful because its still rumor after all. Lee Jeno is an enigma."

"Yeah. Thank you, I guess."

"I'm so happy for you. Really."

Renjun could see and hear Donghyuck's sincerity, and a little sympathy which he didn't like. So he shrugged while his head was still filled with confidence, that he could prove that Jeno would immediately ask him out on a real date.

-

Renjun didn't know that “soon” was coming sooner.

He was getting ready to go home in front of his locker when a hand touched his arm for a moment. He turned and found Jeno, smiling beside him.

"Hi. Are you free? "

"Hi!" Renjun replied cheerfully. "Yeah. Why?"

“You wanna hang out? I just finished reread the book and I have some ideas for our essay. Is that okay with you?" Jeno asked.

“Sure! I finished the book too so maybe we could warm up together. Of course we need your input since you read the book more than once. You even wrote poems. That would be great to know your opinion about fellow writer."

Jeno smiled. He scratched his neck which didn't itch and muttered, "he is Lord Byron, not my 'fellow writer'."

“Your poems are good too! Of course I could see you as one of great writer!"

Jeno couldn't cover his flushed face. Renjun smiled with satisfaction seeing that he could look back at Jeno who was blushing after himself as if he was stripped naked in front of the man.

So the two of them walked together to the parking lot. Jeno opened the door for Renjun and as he sat beside Renjun, Renjun took the time to type a message to Donghyuck.

Guess who just secure the date with one and only Lee Jeno?

From: Donghyuck  
OMG bitch. I don't know you were this fast!

Well, he didn't ask me yet but I'll let u know later!   
Wish meeeee

From: Donghyuck  
Sure. Lmk so I'll spread the news around the school

Renjun giggled with amusement before putting his cellphone into his bag and turning his head towards Jeno who was focused on driving.

"Where are we going?" Renjun asked enthusiastically.

“Uhm… I knew a café that sells good coffee and cute cakes. You want it? It might be a little far from your home but I could take you home after,” replied Jeno.

"Oh! I like cake! That's sounds good."

Jeno laughed at Renjun's cheerful words. He did not expect his class champion to have such a sweet and expressive personality.

“You can get anything you want there. My treat."

Renjun was about to refuse even though his heart was happy with Jeno's words, but Jeno silenced him by humming as Troye Sivan's _My My My_ played on the radio. In order to see Jeno looking so light and comfortable beside him, Renjun could only smile broadly, impatiently looking forward to the longer moments with Lee Jeno.

-

They spent more than two hours chatting and typing. Apparently it didn't take long for them to come to an agreement on Lord Byron's poems. Jeno seemed to be trying to be confident, telling what he got while reading the book of poetry collections while Renjun stared at him attentively. After that, Renjun gave his comments.

The two of them then drafted an essay and quickly got to work. Neither Jeno nor Renjun expected them to finish this task so quickly. Renjun was always happy to do assignments early, and Jeno seemed to really enjoy his assignments this time. Renjun was amazed by all Jeno's knowledge of poetry which he carefully poured out.

After their third order of cake, the two of them continued their essay to the most crucial part; the conclusion. Renjun expresses his passionate thoughts about Don Juan and hopes that Jeno will realize that he is trying to impress him a bit more (oh, of course with a 'deep understanding' of “ _I want a hero: an uncommon want, // When every year and month sends forth a new one,_ //).

As Jeno looked at him in awe, he knew he was one step closer. He knew he would no longer be able to control his heart after this. Not if Jeno kept smiling at him and acted so cute. But the scene had to be interrupted by the ringing from Jeno's cellphone.

"Oh sorry. I thought I mute my phone already,” Jeno muttered uncomfortably, hurriedly took out his cellphone. He did not turn to Renjun and immediately picked up the call.

A second later, Renjun could see Jeno's face was white and he stammered to answer a question from the person on the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, yeah... I'll go. I'll go now." His eyes were blank before he quickly hung up and looked at Renjun.

"Renjun, I'm sorry. But I have to go right now. Something very important coming up and I have to go to the hospital." Jeno hurriedly gave an explanation while packing his belongings into the bag.

“What happened, Jeno? Are you okay?" Renjun asked in panic and tidying up his things, guessing that Jeno's family must be in danger.

"Yes! I mean, no… its complicated. Ugh. Just… I have to go quickly. I'm sorry." Jeno was already on his feet when Renjun held his wrist.

"Can I come?" Renjun asked hopefully.

"What?" parrot Jeno.

“Can I come with you? To the hospital?"

"A-are you s-sure?" this is the first time Renjun saw Jeno stutter. Jeno, who is usually calm and collected himself, now seems to lose control over what he hears. Renjun hopes that nothing bad will happen, but Jeno's reaction worries him.

“Sure! I want to be on your side when… when that something important happening. Can I? I promise I'm not gonna bother you. I just–” Renjun's words were interrupted by another ring from Jeno's cellphone.

Jeno stared at his cellphone screen for a moment and sighed. “Hyung! Why didn't you tell me before?! Fuck, I… my heart just stopped beating for a second! You can't do this to me, hyung. And I'm coming... yeah, right now." Jeno said quickly as he picked up the phone. He looked at Renjun. “Alright. Come on."

Renjun breathed a sigh of relief as he half ran trying to keep up with Jeno's steps. Not even a word was spoken between them during the trip. Jeno looked so worried and Renjun knew better than bother him with question.

They arrived at the hospital after driving for 7 minutes. Jeno no longer looked at Renjun and immediately ran inside. Renjun did his best to follow him. They ran in the hospital hallway until they stopped at the open door.

Jeno rushed in and Renjun followed, keeping a reasonable distance behind him.

"Hyung!" Jeno called.

A young man wearing a doctor's coat and standing by the bed turned his head. “Jen! He is asking for you!” the young man waved quickly.

Jeno got closer to the bed and the young man stepped back, letting Jeno take his place.

"Hey, Nana. Hey, I'm here." Jeno lowered his body towards the body lying on the bed. Jeno's hand automatically grasped the hand of the person he called "Nana".

In a moment, there was no sound in the room. Renjun approached silently so he could see the pale face whose hand was in Jeno's grasp. He still doesn't understand what happened.

“Hi, Jen. Are you okay? Why are you crying?"

Jeno smiled when he realized he was crying. He wiped his tears with his other hand and shook his head. "I was angry, Nana. You didn't tell me you having your surgery today. Neither did Jaehyun-hyung and your mum. I-I should be here. I should be on your side."

"I'm sorry, Jen. They said the window is pretty low… I don't wanna get my hope too high and I don't wanna make you worry. I'm so scared before… I really wanna call you but I remember you're working on your project. So I–"

"You are more important than anything, Nana. I will run to you everytime you need me and you know that."

Nana nodded slowly while Jeno caressing his cheek.

"Are you okay, baby?" asked Jeno.

"Better, actually... Jaehyun-hyung here has some news for you," Nana smiled, giggled at Jaehyun. Jaehyun approached while Jeno straightened his body.

“He is okay now, Jeno. The surgery was succesful." Jaehyun put his hand on Jeno's shoulder. “He still needs to gain his strength, but he will be fine in two weeks. I know you love him so much, you barely leave his side since day one. So congratulation to you too."

Jeno sat his body on the chair, he covered his face with his hands but tears were flowing. "Thank you, thank you." That was all he said like a mantra. Like there was a very first time for everything, this is the first time Renjun saw Jeno so emotional. But he also only froze in place, having a hard time trying to access what was happening.

“Jen, love, are you happy? You won't need to come here everyday now, Jen!" Nana took his hand, smiled.

Even in his white hospital gown with baby blue ornaments, pale face, slightly messy hair, and thin body, Nana still looks so beautiful in Jeno's eyes. His eyes were shining like the one Jeno had known for a long time and he no longer pretended to be optimistic.

Seeing Nana who looked so excited even though he was still lying weak, Jeno could only cry happily realizing how lucky he was to be beside Nana in joy and sorrow.

Jeno looked at Nana. "I don't care if I need to go here everyday for the rest of my life, baby, as long as I could see you. I'm happy because you won't be in pain any longer. Oh god, I want to kill myself every time you cried because of the pain and I couldn't do anything about it. I'm happy because you wont be sad and alone anymore. I'm so happy because you are happy." Jeno wants to hug Nana and not let him go again, but he knows Nana is still vulnerable after surgery. So he stroked Nana's cheek with his thumb, hoping his feelings were conveyed.

“Thank you for being here, love. Thank you for everything. I could love you freely now!" Nana laughed softly, his eyes watery when he looked at Jeno.

Jaehyun cleared his throat. "I think you forgot someone, Jeno." He glanced at Renjun who stood near the foot of the bed.

Jeno stared at Jaehyun for a moment before his eyes caught Renjun's figure and he widened. "Oh! Sorry! I got carried away."

"You sure did," Jaehyun laughed softly.

“Nana, this is my friend that I told you about, Huang Renjun. We were working on our essay about Byron that I told you before when mum called. He is so kind to me. He said he wants to be on my side when something important happened." Jeno said to Nana, then turned to Renjun.

“Renjun, this is my boyfriend, my soulmate, Na Jaemin. Apparently, today is his surgery day and he didn't even say anything to me. I'm sorry for dragging you here."

 _Boy…friend? Soul…mate?_ Renjun felt that he was so stupid because he was stunned by Jeno's question. His head was filled with questions, _how come? Since when? Why doesn't anyone know? Why?_ He swallowed hard, his mind was blank and his heart sank into his stomach, especially when Nana or Na Jaemin smiled at him and tried to reach out.

"Hey, Renjun. I'm Jaemin. Jeno told me so much about you. He said you're one of the top student in his class and he was excited to work with you. Thank you for being on Jeno's side. Its been a while since he talked about new friends. He kept talking about Mark, Yukhei, Jungwoo-hyung, and his coach, Mr. Nakamoto. I'm glad he have you to work with." Jaemin was chattering calmly.

Renjun didn't miss the loving glance glance that Jeno gave Jaemin, as if that boy had just moved the ocean and illuminated the world. On other days, Renjun would snort at the sight, but when Jaemin smiled, he understood why Jeno did it. Jaemin has a beautiful and sincere smile.

He steeled himself, pushed aside his scattered heart and came closer to shake hands with Jaemin.

“Hi, Jaemin,” Renjun didn't know what to say because Jeno never told anything about his secret lover lying in the hospital. "I'm flattered. You don't need to thank me… Jeno is a nice person, I like to be friend with him."

"I'm sorry. I really don't wanna disturb your study session and I was planning to tell Jeno after you guys finished. But mum, I mean Jeno's mum, had her own plan and called him right away,” Jaemin smiled apologetically.

"Oh, no. That's okay, Jaemin. I didn't know you're on a surgery today. How are you?" Renjun tried to calm him down, retreated back so that Jeno could freely sit beside Jaemin.

“Fine, really. I've been in this room and took a hiatus from normal life for a year because I have to recover from a long-standing herniated disc, so I'm glad I will be out soon." Jaemin explained.

"I'm sorry I never told you about him, Renjun. Or anyone, if that's matter. I've been courting Jaemin since junior high and he said yes after our first year in high school. But then he had to be hospitalized and we focused more on his recovery,” Jeno interrupted, trying to read Renjun's mind.

"I'm the one who asked that, actually," Jaemin smiled again and Renjun knew immediately that he couldn't hate Jaemin, no matter how Jaemin's figure seemed to suddenly appear and take Jeno from him, especially when Jaemin continued, "I want him to have his normal life. Its okay even if its away from me. I mean, I couldn't let him rot here with me, right? The only person that I allowed to do that is Jaehyun-hyung. But that's only because he works here, so yeah…"

"Hey!" Jaehyun replied, pretending to be sullen. Jaemin giggled with amusement.

"That's nonsense, Nana," Jeno shook his head, looking incredulous at what Jaemin said.

Renjun couldn't stop himself from responding. “Jeno is right, Jaemin. I don't know you before but I could tell how his focus in school always seems kinda off. Now I'm sure he's been thinking about you all the time."

Jaemin's pale face flushed slightly while Jeno smiled broadly.

"Oh, young love," said Jaehyun and laughed. "Well, I have to go. Your mum will be here anytime soon, Jeno. She's accompanying my mum to sign some legal so Jaemin could be released anytime soon."

"Thank you, hyung," Jeno took the time to hug Jaehyun.

"You don't need to. I'm his hyung, basically." Jaehyun laughed patting Jeno's head. His voice was low when he realized Jeno was crying again. “Thank you for loving my brother, Jeno. Thank you so much." He hugged Jeno tighter back before both of them let go.

Jaehyun nodded at Renjun and walked out of the room.

“Stop crying, love. I'm fine. Look!” Jaemin tried to cheer up Jeno. He looked at Renjun for help.

"Jaemin is right, Jeno. He doesn't want to see your ugly crying in his happy day."

Jaemin and Jeno laughed at that. Jeno wiped the remaining tears with a tissue.

"I really got carried away, you know?" Jeno defended himself. “We were talking about Byron before and Nana loves Byron's poems. I could imagine how he will talk to me about that."

The door opened again, this time revealing two couples who Renjun thought are Jeno's and Jaemin's parents. Sure enough, they reported that Jaemin could be discharged in three days after leaving the doctor's supervision. It only took him two weeks to be active. Jaemin's mother discussed the possibility of Jaemin returning to school after home-schooling for the past year. Jeno's mother supported the idea, saying it's good for Jaemin to go out and interact with people in general.

Feeling quite disturbing, Renjun took his leave. Jaemin thanked him again and forced Jeno to take Renjun home. Both Jeno and Renjun objected to this suggestion, but Jaemin and his parents insisted. Jaemin threatened to throw Jeno out when he visited him again if he didn't obey Jaemin's request.

Having no choice, Jeno and Renjun stepped outside. Jeno left his bag there to make sure he came back because he didn't seem to want to leave Jaemin.

“You seems to love him so much,” Renjun said softly, as he and Jeno stepped out of Jaemin's room.

"Yes, I do. We are neighbor since he moved in the house next to mine. We were hating each other before only to realized that its just our stupidity that controlled us to behave like douchebag over the fact that we attracted to each other. So, like I told you before. I confessed to him and then started to courting him for over a year until he said he likes me back,” said Jeno. Renjun could see how his steps and face were lighter now.

"That's why you've been rejecting love confession and being so secret with your love life," Renjun muttered.

"Yeah," Jeno replied, felt embarrassed. “Jungwoo is the only person that confessed to me with so much effort and naturally kind to me. He reminded me when I confessed to Jaemin, so I told him about Jaemin. We became friends after that. Of course my bestfriends, Mark and Yukhei, knew too. They're friends with Jaemin too, afterall."

Renjun nodded silently.

Jeno continued his story on the way home, “I might seems whipped, but please spare me. Jaemin is the one that encourages me to write poems. He's been giving me a lot of books and I appreciated it lot. He helped me to become who I am now. I will be lost without him."

“Yeah, it sounds really deep. I envy you,” Renjun replied softly. Now that Jeno was alone with Jeno in the car without any disturbance around them, he could feel his heart cracking clearly.

"I'm just helplessly in love with my ex-enemy," Jeno smiled. “You'll have better love story than weeks of hating each other guts. Jaemin didn't go to our school after he begged to his mom because he didn't want to see me 24/7. In the end, I just know that he did that because he don't want to admit his love towards me. That stupid boy." Jeno laughed at the end of his sentence.

"I'm just glad he is okay now, you could tell the world that you have a boyfriend so rumors about you will stop," Renjun commented, tried his best to buried his hurt expression.

Jeno nodded, his face turned a little serious. “That doesn't bother me, you know. I heard all of them. I mean, its riddiculous that they thought I was dating a married woman while in fact I just accompany Jaemin's mother to bought gift for Jaemin's birthday. But yeah, I really just don't care as long as I have Jaemin by my side."

"You are indeed in love, Lee Jeno."

"I am."

Jeno's car stopped in front of Renjun's house.

“We did good for our essay today,” muttered Renjun, still stuck in place for some reason without turning to Jeno.

"Yeah. Thank you for your work and sorry, Renjun, for brought you to the hospital." Jeno tried to look Renjun's eyes, but Renjun turned away.

“You did great, too. I think we just need to email each other for the conclusion."

"Are you sure?" Jeno's eyes opened slightly. "I mean... I'm so happy about Jaemin's surgery and news about his recovery... I might be sleep in the hospital until he is discharge."

“Its okay. You should focus more on Jaemin."

Jeno smiled, did not noticing the slight tremor in Renjun's voice. “Thank you, Renjun. Really. I don't know what could I do without you. Just send me your opinion about the last poem and I'll arrange the conclusion. Actually, your opinion today was really out of the box and it kinda amazed me. So I will look forward to your perspective about ' _When We Two Parted_ ', okay?" Jeno sounded cheerful.

“Uh-hm,” muttered Renjun, trying to swallow up all his sadness, which this time seemed to get bigger the longer he was around Jeno. But on the other hand, he didn't want to go. He didn't want his time with Jeno to end.

"Renjun, are you okay?" Jeno asked after a while Renjun just stayed quiet in his chair.

“See you, Jeno. Bye." Renjun grabbed his bag and kicked off the door. He quickly ran across the yard, without answering to Jeno's questionable gaze.

As soon as Renjun got into his house, he threw his body on the bed and finally, having craved it for so long, he cried and ignored the incoming messages from Donghyuck.

So ???   
The date is on, right ???   
Like renjun and his plan always going on well

-

"Hey, babe," said Jeno as he entered Jaemin's ward.

Jaemin leaned back on the bed which was now slightly raised, allowing him to sit up.

"Look, Jen!" Jaemin showed off his new position after a long time just laying down and sitting for a very limited time.

Jeno smiled happily to see him. He kissed Jaemin's forehead and cheeks before sitting near Jaemin's feet and holding Jaemin's hand.

"No hurt?"

"No hurt," Jaemin shook his head. "Never been this fine, Jen."

"Yeah? I'm happy to hear that, baby."

“Are you alone now, Jen? I thought I interrupted your study session with Renjun yesterday so you're gonna meet him again today,” asked Jaemin.

“Renjun said that we should finish our essay via email. He wants me to focus on my Nana here." Jeno pinched Jaemin's cheek.

"Oh, no, Jen. You shouldn't do that,” regretted Jaemin realizing that Jeno was again sacrificing his need to accompany Jaemin.

“Its okay, baby. We're finish already, just need his input about ' _When We Two Parted_ '."

“Oh I love that poem! Can I see?" Jaemin asked with shining eyes.

Jeno smiled seeing it. He felt that his cheeks would hurt if he was around Jaemin for too long, but Jeno couldn't help himself because he naturally always smiled around Jaemin. Even when Jaemin was at his worst. Jeno can easily smile no matter what Jaemin does.

"Sure, baby." Jeno took out his laptop. He sat beside Jaemin, holding his laptop.

-

The night before, Renjun woke up in the middle of the night to find that he had fallen asleep after crying. His heart still ached and he couldn't do anything to ease it. Not when he saw Jaemin and Jeno who were full of love for each other. Renjun only met Jaemin a few hours ago but he couldn't imagine Jeno without Jaemin.

They're indeed soulmate.

Renjun got up and grabbed his laptop. He had no choice but to type with lingering feelings and drying tears. His fingers quickly beat the keyboard and stringed together word for word that meant more than anything else.

_When we two parted_

_In silence and tears,_

_Half broken-hearted_

_To sever for years,_

_Pale grew thy cheek and cold,_

_Colder thy kiss;_

_Truly that hour foretold_

_Sorrow to this…_

Renjun bit his trembling lips that he could not control.

“This poem tells about the separation of a couple who loved each other so much that the separation became so painful for them. All the warmth they have felt so far has turned cold to each other considering the sadness that will befall them." He wrote.

_The dew of the morning_

_Sank chill on my brow –_

_It felt like the warning_

_Of what I feel now._

_Thy vows are all broken,_

_And light is thy fame;_

_I hear thy name spoken,_

_And share in its shame._

  
“Once upon a time in our lives, there will be something we regret. Especially warnings that we absolutely ignore. But everything is too late and all we can share is what we don't have. How powerful regret is." _We didn't even have anything to regret. I don't have a chance to properly mop over you._

_They name thee before me,_

_A knell in mine ear;_

_A shudder come to o’er me –_

_Why wert thou so dear?_

_They know not I knew thee,_

_Who knew thee too well –_

_Long, long shall I rue thee,_

_Too deeply to tell._

"I never care what they say about you. But I know I remember well everything they said about you. With hope that I am in it; in you. Maybe so if I had the time to search for myself in you. But I don't have that." 

_In secret we met –_

_In silence I grieve,_

_That thy heart could forget,_

_Thy spirit deceive._

_If I should meet thee_

_After long years,_

_How should I greet thee? –_

_With silence and tears._

“In these meetings we keep our silence secret in order to deceive the feelings that are clearly displayed in front of us. When I reach for it, you easily get so cold and forget everything that was ever there. Lie. I will remember you with the same when we parted; with silence and tears."

Renjun pressed the button many times.

-

"Hm? He didn't write a single word?" Jeno's forehead frowned when he realized that the document Renjun had sent was empty.

Jaemin was silent, letting Jeno panic a little trying to go back to checking Renjun's documents, but to no avail. It seemed that Renjun had nothing to write about. Jeno took out his cellphone.

But he was stopped by Jaemin hands on his arm. He gave Jeno a good look. His handsome and perfect boyfriend, even made Jaemin think he was envy of Jeno before realizing that it was jealousy that he felt when Jeno received a series of gifts from his fans. Even so, Jaemin more than knew that Jeno often forgot his surroundings so much, was so insensitive, so in love with Jaemin. Jaemin was very grateful for that, but lately he felt Jeno neglecting himself just to love Jaemin.

"Jen..." called Jaemin.

Jeno answered with a questioning look in his eyes.

 _He likes you_ , Jaemin wants to make a voice, remembering the empty look from Renjun's eyes yesterday and how different he was from what Jeno told him. _You just broke his heart, by letting him know about me. You just blew your another chance… Like you usually did._

"I love you." But Jaemin also couldn't deny that he loved Jeno too much. More than friends, maybe even deeper than Jeno's love for him.

"Baby, are you okay?" asked Jeno. "I love you too," he continued without wasting any time.

"I'm sorry." Jaemin's grip on Jeno's arm weakened, as tears began to blur his vision. "I'm sorry, for keeping you with me. To make you stuck with me, especially in this past year."

Jeno no longer has new friends, leaves the clubs he used to participate in and leaves basketball as the only activity he participates in outside of school. Jeno, who spends his free time visiting Jaemin, accompanies him in every treatment period, and keeps him happy. Jeno introduced him to Mark and Yukhei, Jeno's best friends who eventually became Jaemin's best friends to the point where they often visited Jaemin without having to give any prior news.

"Nana," Jeno covered Jaemin's mouth with his thumb. His hands grabbed Jaemin's cheeks and brought them face to face. Under Jeno's intense gaze, Jaemin's tears melted one by one.

“I told you already; don't be sorry. I like being with you and I always will. My feelings doesn't change, Nana. I love you so much. Whatever happens."

"Whatever?"

Jeno nodded. Even though it was difficult to say this, he had no choice, "even if you don't love me anymore, I will still love you."

“Jen,” Jaemin opened his hands and grabbed Jeno into a hug. He was crying on Jeno's shoulder while Jeno stroked his hair. “I feel so bad for keep wanting to be with you, Jen. I know you suppose to be happy with your friends... or with a boyfriend who is healthy, unlike me–"

"No, Nana. I suppose to be with you because that what I want too. And now you're healthy, please don't say that. I love you, Jaemin. I love you." Jeno silenced Jaemin by landing a kiss on the top of Jaemin's head. However, Jaemin's crying grew louder

When the surgery was finally scheduled, Jaemin asked everyone; his parents, Jeno's parents, and Jaehyun, not to tell Jeno. There is a possibility that Jaemin will not be able to recover as usual, that surgery will not improve his condition, and Jaemin prefers to think about the worst possibility than hope that he will be discharged from the hospital after a year.

Jeno continued to visit him as usual, but this time something was different when he told him about his new friend, Renjun. The smart, kind and caring Renjun. Jeno excitedly recounted their meeting, making Jaemin smile bitterly inside realizing that that's what Jeno needed and he couldn't give it.

Jeno deserves to have a boyfriend who can be invited to a café, have discussions in class, pass each other in the corridor, have lunch together, or whatever shows their freedom. And here is Jaemin, in the same room, every day, all year long. He just went out to tour the park in a wheelchair, then returned to his room doing nothing. For a moment, Jaemin wished he was Renjun who could make Jeno happy from his boring routine.

When he finally met Renjun yesterday, _oh_ , his eyes quickly understood the shock and despair that had arisen within Renjun. He, who had prepared for the worst news, was so happy to realize his recovery and felt that he might not be sensitive to Renjun's feelings.

Jaemin let go of their hug, leaned back on the bed while Jeno kissed his forehead and cheek gently. He looked at Jeno carefully. His handsome, sweet, and dense boyfriend who didn't notice the look that Renjun was giving.

Jaemin is not stupid. He knew the contents of ' _When We Two Parted_ ' and Renjun certainly couldn't handle his feelings when he found out that the boy he likes had a boyfriend and he had to write an essay about a poem containing parting afterwards. Jaemin's stomach churned from the sudden guilt that flooded him.

"Nana?" called Jeno when he realized Jaemin had been silent for too long.

"Jen, can you please open the second drawer and bring me the brown envelope?" Jaemin pointed to the cupboard beside his bed. Even though he was wondering, Jeno nodded and took out the envelope that Jaemin meant.

"That's for you, love."

"Huh?" Jeno raised an eyebrow, didn't understand.

"I wrote that letter just in case my surgery didn't go well..." Jaemin swallowed hard.

"But it went well."

"You say that the last poetry that you discuss with Renjun is ' _When We Two Parted_ ', right?" Jeno nodded and Jaemin continued, "apparently, I wrote the meaning of the poetry… for you."

This time Jeno was completely lost. But accompanied by Jaemin's haggard look, he opened the envelope and read the contents of the paper inside.

> “ _When you and I bid farewell to each other, unhappy and not speaking to each other anymore, your cheek grew cold – but your goodbye kiss to me was colder still. That moment of parting has caused the sorrow that I now feel._
> 
> “ _Even the morning dew was so cold on my forehead, as if foreshadowing the cold and desolate feeling I experience now. You’ve become an outcast from society, and your name is mud; I feel guilty about our affair._
> 
> “ _People gossip about you in front of me, and its like a church bell ringing the death knell; I sudder, and wonder why you meant so much to me? These people who mention you don’t know about our affair. I will regret being involved with you more than I can say._
> 
> “ _We met in secret for our romantic liaisons, and now I grieve over our affair – and our subsequent parting – on my own, not telling anybody. I grieve that you could grow so cold towards me when you once had feelings for me, and that you could lie and deceive me the way you did. If I ever met you again all these years later, I know how I would greet you – the same way we parted, with silence and tears._ ”
> 
> _Nana_

Jeno read it over and over again to understand Jaemin's true intentions and goals. After reading it for the fifth time, consciousness slowly crept up in his brain and the hair on his neck crept up. He dropped the paper and hugged Jaemin tightly.

“No! Nana, no! I don't want–Nana, don't leave me! What the hell–NO! I can't-I won't let you go." Jeno closed his eyes and shook his head in Jaemin's arms.

“Jeno, calm down. I said that I want to give you that if my surgery didn't succeed... but it was successful so no, I won't leave you and you don't have to let me go..."

“Nana! Whatever happened in that surgery room yesterday, I won't–I will never leave you."

"Don't be stupid, love. You deserves a lot more thing rather than stuck in the hospital just to make me happy."

“That's not stupid! And I deserve you like you deserve me. You deserves to be happy too, and I'm happy when you're happy. Please, Nana. Don't ever think about something like that anymore. I will be very very angry."

"I'm sorry, Jen... I'm a fool."

"Yeah, you are, if you keep thinking about that. I love you, Nana, and I know you love me too. Lets be together for a long long time."

Jaemin nodded, hugged Jeno tightly back to smell a calming scent from Jeno.

"I'm happy, Jeno. So happy."

“Me too, baby. Me too. "

-

Renjun hummed while putting his book into the locker. Next to him, Donghyuck leans against the locker door, telling the latest gossip about their friend's dating secretly.

“…They met in the empty classroom two hours after school just because they don't want their friends to know about their relationship. I think that's sweets until their friends found out and starts a fight. Can you imagine that?"

“Its their right, Hyuck. They can do whatever they want with their relationship."

"I know. But, still. I thought they're hating each other–"

"OH GOD! THAT'S LEE JENO AND WHO??"

Their chat was interrupted by several girls across from the locker who were screaming loudly. In an instant, everyone who was waiting for the bell to ring was interested in what was happening and rumors began to sound.

From the end of the hallway, Jeno walked hand in hand with a strange figure. Their stature is the same but Jeno's body looks towering considering the boy beside him looks so timid with the attention paid to them.

"Easy, Nana. I'm here,” Jeno whispered, tightening his hand on Jaemin who was nervous on his first day of school.

Jaemin nodded, but in a moment Wong Yukhei put his arm around his neck.

"Nice to see you around, Nana."

“Yeah, its quite a surprise but we kinda like it. Come on! Cheer up. We will introduce you to the squads later."

Jaemin smiled at Yukhei and Mark, but he decided to get rid of his nervousness so he could tease the three people around him, "oh, you mean the muscular guys, popular girls, and the bullies of the school?"

Yukhei snorted, Mark frowned, while Jeno pouted at that. Jaemin laughed at their reaction.

“Just kidding, guys. I can't wait to meet the others!" His eyes turned to the side of the hall and glowed again.

“Renjun! Nice to meet you again!” he broke away from Yukhei and Jeno, quickly stood in front of Renjun with a big smile.

“O-oh! Hi, Jaemin! Y-yeah, nice to meet you again!” Renjun gasped as everyone's eyes were now on him. Previously, he had never expected Jaemin to greet him with such enthusiasm. Donghyuck was gaping beside him.

“Lets be friends, okay? Oh, you are Renjun's friend?" Jaemin turned to Donghyuck, still looking enthusiastic.

“Umm… yeah! Hi! I'm Donghyuck Lee. Renjun's friend." Donghyuck quickly pulled himself together and greeted Jaemin.

“Pleasure! I'm Jaemin Na, new student–"

"And Jeno's boyfriend." Yukhei chimed in behind them. Jaemin's face flushed a little hearing that, but he nodded slowly.

"O-oh, great!" Donghyuck glanced at Renjun.

For a moment the atmosphere became a little awkward because no one said anything. Jaemin was still smiling waiting while Renjun swallowed hard. Jeno was just watching carefully as his friendship with Renjun automatically stretched after their task was finished.

“Sure, Jaemin. I'll be–I'll be your friends." Renjun exhaled slowly and smiled broadly.

Jaemin responded by hugging Renjun's shoulder warmly.

"Me too, me too!" Donghyuck replied, hugging Renjun's shoulder too.

-

Renjun was fond of planning everything. Starting from when he can eat junk food, to which apartment complex he will live in when he works later. All this was done to compensate for his feelings that could not be planned at any time.

Even now, he sits at a table in the cafeteria, with his best friends, his ex-crush, his ex-crush boyfriend, and his ex-crush friends ( _psh... and his not-so-new crush_ ), he never expected their relationship to just flow into best friends.

_end_

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Its been sitting in my hard drive for weeks so I think its the time to let its shine since nomin been MIA for days :( But lets hope for the best in this comeback :3  
> I'm sorry for any errors and I hope you guys enjoyed it! See you <3


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